By Nancy Farris

Once you've committed to creating the life of your dreams, or working on some other project, it's important to stay focused on your vision and use your support system to keep you on track. You'll want to avoid these three costly mistakes that can quickly derail your progress and prevent you from reaching your dreams.

Mistake #1 - You allow well meaning friends and family to support you in ways that they would want to be supported.

Think about it - have you ever been working hard on a project, when a loved one comes along and offers advice or 'support' in a well meaning attempt to be there for you, and instead you totally shut down? Unless your support system consists of trained professionals, you'll want to coach others on how to encourage and support you. Let friends and loved ones know what kind of language keeps you motivated, and what kind of language shuts you down. Everyone is different, so don't assume others will know what is best for you.

Do you want them to check in with you regularly, or will you call them at certain intervals and keep them posted? People in your support system really want to be there for you, so let them know what will be most supportive.  You will each feel better about the process.

Mistake #2 - You allow others to criticize or guilt you back on track when you get temporarily derailed.

Typically criticism does not help much when someone gets off track. If you're like most of us, you are probably already your worst critic. It's probably not going to help you to be reminded of where you 'should have been by now.'

Think of getting derailed as needing a simple "course correct."  Teach your supporters to help you restart from where you are not where you should have been. Do you need to refine your goals? Have them help you determine realistic goals. Do you need assistance identifying all the steps in the process? Ask for that. Or just tell them you want their help celebrating your progress so far, and you'll let them know when they can celebrate the next steps.

Invite your supporters to ask you "how can I best support you right now?" You might want different kinds of support at various points along your journey. That question allows for them to not have to know the answer; and it allows for you to define the support you need at any given time.

Mistake #3 - Judging your own progress.

Drop any self-judgment about your own progress; it is not supportive. Period. The fastest road to self sabotage is to compare your progress with that of someone else, or with where you thought you "should" be. Learn to pay attention to your own inner compass. What is your body telling you? Use your own guidance system to determine where you want to be, then give it your best. Decide to keep moving, and continue to do what you can. Adjust your goals according to your current progress. Give yourself permission to make adjustments, and if warranted to change your mind!

What happens if somewhere down the road this wonderful change you've been working toward becomes something you no longer want? Change your mind, course correct, and set out on your new strategic path. It's not only OK to change your mind, it's sometimes vital!

There's nothing worse than trudging down a path that is no longer right for you. That would be draining your precious life energy. Instead, look behind you just long enough to celebrate what you've accomplished, then discover what you learned. Celebrate the fact that you took care of yourself and made a new decision, and you will be empowered and re-energized to begin again with new found clarity from a different place!