I’d like to make an absurd suggestion, but suspend your disbelief for a moment. Many of you, I’m sure, read cereal boxes over breakfast. That in itself is a ridiculous pastime if you think about it. I suggest instead that you have

a dictionary handy. Each morning, open it at random – any page – and read that instead. You might find it a very unusual book, not a bad book to read, full of suggestion and reminiscence.

        On page 1136 of  The Random House Dictionary, for example, between  entries “Riemann integral” and “right field.” I find that a “rifle” is “a shoulder firearm with spiral grooves cut in the inner surface of the gun barrel to give the bullet a rotary motion and thus render its flight more accurate.” It is also “a cannon with such grooves.” In a recent production of Damn Yankees, the Devil had to shout from the stands two lines which I thought were ridiculous: “Rifle it home, boy, rifle it home!” and “He’s got an arm like a cannon!” Both described young Joe’s abilities as a batter.  Both exclamations, I note over my cereal, do make sense and the jargon of baseball does have its roots in reality.

        I find that “rigging” is used informally to mean “clothing.” There should be an appropriate moment for the affective use of that word as we notice what people are wearing today. A “rift” is a “fissure, cleft, or chink.” It’s also a “break in friendly relations” or a geological “fault.” There should be something in that. It’s certainly as interesting as, and potentially more useful than, “Family Meat Loaf “ or “Tropical Peanut Squares” or “Nutritional Information (Per Serving).

        I read that there are 54 different  and distinct senses in which the word “right” is used. From “right conduct” to “set the room to rights” to “turn out right” and “I was right glad to be there.” If you had to explain to someone the meaning of “right” as opposed to “left” without using both terms in you explanation, how would you do it? Think for a moment before you read on.

        How about: “of, near, or pertaining to the side of a person or thing that is turned toward the east when the face is toward the north.” Not bad, is it? Aren’t you sorry you didn’t think of that? But then, that’s what a dictionary is for.

        “Rigamarole” is a precisely appropriate word for “meaningless talk.” If “pyorrhea” no longer has the mystery about it that impresses your friends, call it “Riggs Disease.”  Or if you come across a “fragrant, white wine,” and you are pressed to identify it, “Riesling” might be a good guess – the grapes are grown in Europe and California. The next time you are upset because the rumor has spread all over town, and you overhear someone say, “Rumors about him are rife!” you’ll know what it means: the opposite of “scarce.”

        If you’re still with me, “right field” might bring to mind Babe Ruth, Tommy Heinrich, Roger Maris or Rusty Staub, depending on how avid a baseball fan you are or have been.

       And “riffraff” will impress you in proportion to you social consciousness: “the worthless or disreputable element of society, worthless or low persons.”  It called to mind Samuel Johnson’s attitude: “If you push a man down into the gutter, you must expect him to relish the pleasures of the gutter rather than have no pleasures at all.”

        Yes, words are a fascinating pastime, so get rid of that cereal box. You may find yourself nodding in agreement with William Demby’s advice to John Steinbeck: “This is no dead compilation (this dictionary), but a living, growing, changing organism – sparkling with the creativeness of the only creative species.”

           Bill Reynolds